


baby it's you

by chanzu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Chatting & Messaging, Fluff, Funny, Texting, Wonhui - Freeform, honestly, i try okkk, its subtle, jihancheol, like bts n got7 whoo, seokhoon, some cameos from other groups, some chapters might be like normal ones, soonchan, the superior ships owo, verkwan, what kind of shitfest is this lol, yaknow what i mean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-04-06 18:24:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14062791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanzu/pseuds/chanzu
Summary: cucumber:god ill rip ur eyes out if i couldsoonshine:do itcucumber:ok then meet me at the alleyway in 10cucumber:square up bitch pew pew





	1. annoying apple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some roasting (??) and chicken (?????????)
> 
> seungcheol - hairypop  
> jeonghan - cucumber  
> jisoo - shuasus  
> junhui - jeremy  
> soonyoung - shimmyshimmy  
> wonwoo - wonwhat  
> jihoon - poopcorn  
> seokmin - sunkissed  
> mingyu - fita  
> minghao - haoly  
> seungkwan - kwakodoo  
> hansol - cloverdale  
> chan - chanshine

**some vafrous turds**

_(fita + 12 other people)_

 

**09:48 PM ;**

 

 **hairypop:** we all meeting at wonwoo n junhuis tonight?

 

 **jeremy:** dont forget the wines besties

 

 **haoly:** do not, i repeat do not, call me ur bestie

 **haoly:** i mean it

 

 **jeremy:** oh hi bestie

 

 **fita:** uh yea cheol we meeting at wonhuis lol

 

 **wonwhat:** wheres junhui

 

 **jeremy:** im here babe whatchu want

 

 **wonwhat:** did u

 **wonwhat** : take out the chicken

 **wonwhat** : from the fridge

 

 **jeremy:** wait

 **jeremy** : was i supposed to

 

 **kwakoodoo:** .............

 

 **shuasus:** guess nobodys eating tonight

 

 **cloverdale:** everytime i see ur username i die inside

 

 **cucumber:** jun just ran so fast right in front of my eyes lmao

 **cucumber:** junhui is the flash: a conspiracy theory thread

 

 **hairypop:** ure at wonhuis rn jeonghan ??

 

 **shimmyshimmy:** i support that thread

 

 **cucumber:** yea i didnt wanna walk to our dorm so i stayed

 

 **shuasus** : u didnt tell me smh were breaking up

 

 **cucumber** : bitch ?? commonsense ??

 

 **shuasus:** bitch ?? u sleeping on the couch tonight ??

 

 **hairypop:** i love it when they fight

 

 **kwakoodoo:** i can tell dad

 

 **fita:** but the question is

 **fita:** is junhui using the blow dryer or ?????

 

 **cloverdale:** shit were all gonna die

 

 **chanshine:** u either kill urself or get killed

 

 **sunkissed:** what u gonna do

 

 **shimmyshimmy:** and the lee brothers are here

 

 **sunkissed:** wassup bitches

 

 **wonwhat:** jUNHUI DONT USE THE BLOW DRYER

 

 **cucumber:** JUNHUIS ABOUT TO USE THE TOASTER WHAT THE FUCK

 

 **shuasus:** language

 

 **kwakoodoo:** u just cussed like a minute ago

 

 **shuasus:** so what

 **shuasus:** whats ur point

 **shuasus:** fight me

 

 **kwakoodoo:** im mute bye

 

 **cloverdale:** jisoo is a hypocrite >:(

 

 **cucumber:** aww hansols protecting kwan thats cute

 **cucumber:** but not as cute as seungcheol n jisoo

 

 **shuasus:** ok u can sleep on the bed w me

 

 **hairypop:** can i be in the middle

 

 **shuasus:** ofcourse ! <3

 

 **cucumber:** yes bby <3

 

 **hairypop:** <333

 

 **sunkissed:** oh wow right in front of my salad

 

 **wonwhat:** guys were getting out of topic

 **wonwhat:** i need an update on junhui

 

 **cucumber:** dw i stopped ur bf before he uses ur flattening iron

 

 **shimmyshimmy:** he really gonna use a flattening iron

 **shimmyshimmy:** what a dumb bitch

 

 **chanshine:** isnt that u soonyoung

 

 **fita:** OOOOHHHHH

 **fita:** CHANKAJFS

 

 **haoly:** chan did what? he did THAT

 

 **cucumber:** im so proud of my baby he really letting my legacy live on

 

 **sunkissed:** that kid is my brother yall

 

 **kwakoodoo:** but ure not even dead yet jeonghan

 **kwakodoo:** eventhough i wished u were

 

 **fita:** THE YOUNGERS ARE ON A ROLL IM LIVING KSDBJSH

 

 **cloverdale** : jeonghan just got

 **cloverdale:** [bass boosted] ROASTED

 

 **shimmyshimmy:** chan, my own boyfriend

 **shimmyshimmy:** no cuddles for tonight i guess

 

 **chanshine:** ive got seokmin so bye

 

 **cucumber:** i raised yall on my fucking back

 **cucumber:** i worked hard to make yall have comfortable lives

 

 **wonwhat:** im still a depressed and broke student

 **wonwhat:** wdym "comfortable lives" ???????

 

 **cucumber:** shut up im going to run away w junhui

 

 **wonwhat:** try. do it.

 

 **fita:** he used periods

 **fita:** everyone evacuate

 

 **shimmyshimmy:** jeonghan ill come w u n live chan

 

 **sunkissed:** *leave

 **sunkissed:** ah soonyoung ure living up to ur name

 

 **jeremy:** phew u guys i almost threw our whole kitchen out

 **jeremy:** what is this mess

 

 **haoly:** chan n soonyoung r breaking up

 **haoly:** and jeonghans running away w/ u and soonyoung

 

 **jeremy:** i suddenly cant read

 **jeremy:** also the chicken is safe everyone i didnt use blow dryer, toaster or flattening iron

 **jeremy:** jeonghan was exaggerating

 

 **cucumber:** i just kicked junhuis face bc hes a liar

 

 **haoly:** nice

 

 **poopcorn:** you guys really are amusing to watch

 

 **sunkissed:** why thank u young sir

 

 **hairypop:** oop jihoons here gotta blast

 

 **poopcorn:** seungcheol come back here u little shit

 

 **fita:** what did he do now

 

 **poopcorn:** HE CHANGED ALL MY CONTACTS TO VINES

 **poopcorn:** AND NOW I DONT KNOW WHICH ONE IS WHICH

 

 **shuasus:** cheol that is bad

 **shuasus:** (though im proud of u babe love u)

 

 **wonwhat:** isnt it easy since u dont have much friends

 

 **hairypop:** as mcuh as i want to agree, no jihoon has 12+ friends

 **hairypop:** can u believe taht

 

 **sunkissed:** but seungcheol do u remember what u named us though

 

 **hairypop:** UM YEA

 **hairypop:** who do u think i am? mr forgetful man?

 

 **cucumber:** u forgot my fav bubble tea flavour

 

 **shuasus:** lol n jeonghan ignored cheol for weeks wow

 

 **hairypop:** in my defense yellow bubble tea can also be lemon

 

 **cucumber:** who drinks lemon flavoured bubble tea ????

 

 **kwakoodoo:** me bitch whats good

 

 **cucumber:** DISGUSTING

 

 **hairypop:** im sorry jihoon it was a very good chance so i took it

 **hairypop:** and admit it its pretty funny

 

 **poopcorn:** do i look like im laughing rn

 

 **hairypop:** i cant see u so uhh yea ?

 

 **poopcorn:** surprise bitch im not laughing

 

 **wonwhat:** but what did u named us

 

 **hairypop:** okay so you are 'ADAM'

 **hairypop:** junhui is 'MEOOOOOWWWWW'

 **hairypop:** soonyoung is 'i never went to oovoo javer'

 

 **chanshine:** so far thats accurate

 

 **hairypop:** chan is 'im an adult virgin'

 **hairypop:** mingyu is 'why does johnny have so many soap' while minghao is 'mind yo business david'

 

 **fita:** whos johnny and david

 

 **haoly:** oh my god mingyu shut up

 

 **hairpop:** hansol is 'I WILL SHIT ON THE FLOOR'

 **hairypop:** seungkwan is 'im gonna go poop'

 **hairypop:** jisoo is 'oh excuse my language baby'

 **hairypop:** jeonghan is 'weed? no hey mom!'

 

 **jeremy:** how does he memorize that im

 

 **cloverdale:** we love a man with a great memory

 

 **shuasus:** tbh im not surprised he watches vine compilations atleast thrice a day

 

 **kwakodoo:** we love a cool dad

 

 **hairypop:** im 'hes so tall n handsome as hell n hes gay'

 

 **cucumber:** OH MY GOD YES

 

 **sunkissed:** and me ???

 

 **hairypop:** :)

 **hairypop:** 'i aint never gonna stop loving u bitch'

 

 **poopcorn:** SEUNGCHEOL U LITTLE BITCH

 

 **sunkissed:** ...............

 

 **haoly:** wow that was the most accurate

 

 **fita:** yea i totally agree

 

 **jeremy:** well seungcheol, rest in pieces

 

 **sunkissed:** did u just call me a bitch seungcheol

 

 **cloverdale:** were the dots because of that

 **cloverdale:** oh my god

 

 **sunkissed:** minghao n mingyu u agree on me being a bitch ?! >:(

 

 **haoly:** god im in pain pls help

 

 **hairypop:** im not even surprise anymore

 

 **cucumber:** jihoon just let out a big breath n dropped his body to the couch lol

 **cucumber:** i think hell live

 

 **kwakodoo:** jihoons there too?

 

 **cucumber:** uh yeah he arrived w wonwoo

 

 **kwakodoo:** IM ALMOST THERE

 **kwakodoo:** MY CHICKEN LEG IS WAITING FOR ME

 

 **wonwhat:** i just imagined seungkwan w chicken legs

 **wonwhat:** im dying

 

 **shuasus:** thats it im giving chicken legs pants to seungkwan for christmas

 

 **kwakodoo:** dONT U DARE HONG JISOO

 

 **shuasus:** expect it on ur stocking seungkwannie :D

 

 **sunkissed:** yall still didnt answer my question

 

 **chanshine:** minnie im going to wonhuis with soon !

 **chanshine:** and dont call my bro a bitch bc hES NOT

 

 **sunkissed:** i was going to say ive been betrayed bc ure leaving me alone

 **sunkissed:** bUT :D thank you channie!!!

 

 **fita:** sibling goals wow

 

 **shuasus:** open the door im here

 **shuasus:** oh and seungcheol too lol

 

 **jeremy:** you almost forgot about ur own boyfriend

 

 **shuasus:** yes now open the door or ill throw cheollie to the door

 **shuasus:** oh seungkwans here too

 **shuasus:** OPEN THE DOOR

 

 **chanshine:** omg jisoo sounds so manly

 **chanshine:** get u a man

 

 **sunkissed:** be glad soonyoungs not on lol

 **chanshine:** hes still putting his coat so im safe

 

 **wonwhat:** yknow jisoo acts like hes stronger than cheol hmm

 

 **cucumber:** yEA HE DOES THAT ALL THE TIME

 **cucumber:** he acts like a big dog but hes just a small puppy

 

 **haoly:** sounds like mingyu to me

 

 **kwakodoo:** aw thats cute

 

 **cloverdale:** kwan acts like a scary snake but hes a cuddly snake

 

 **kwakodoo:** thats such a bad comparison

 

 **sunkissed:** how is a snake cuddly wtf

 

 **fita:** HANSOL WHAT THE FUCK

 

 **kwakodoo:** he never compliments me properly hmp >:(

 

 **cloverdale:** i know im such a good boyfriend :D

 

 **chanshine:** we just bumped to minghao and mingyu !! were almost there

 

 **cloverdale:** i bought some gummy bears so yea

 

 **kwakodoo:** im already here and the chickens not cooked yet

 

 **sunkissed:** patience is a virtue, my child

 

 **chanshine:** seokmin is actually impatient so he should take his own advice

 **chanshine:** man i have such an interesting brother

 

 **sunkissed:** i can say the same to u mr. lee chan

 

 **jeremy:** everyones here yall lazy asses

 **jeremy:** enough chatting and come here quickly !!

 

 **chanshine:** OKOK

 

 **cloverdale:** roger that, mister jeremy

 

 **jeremy:** SHUT UP CHEESE STICK

 

 **sunkissed:** almost there junnie ~

 

 **wonwhat:** and we wait.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi yeah im here again  
> honestly i dont have any motivation to update lros lol  
> im rlly sorry but here ya go  
> i wrote this bc i was chatting w my friends n thought what svt might do when theyre chatting too whoops  
> ALSO as always ill update when i find inspiration again whoo


	2. blue blankets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: all of seventeen are weebs
> 
> seungcheol - hairypop  
> jeonghan - cucumber  
> jisoo - shuasus  
> junhui - jeremy  
> soonyoung - shimmyshimmy  
> wonwoo - wonwhat  
> jihoon - poopcorn  
> seokmin - sunkissed  
> mingyu - fita  
> minghao - haoly  
> seungkwan - kwakodoo  
> hansol - cloverdale  
> chan - chanshine

**some vafrous turds**

_(fita + 12 other people)_

 

**11:23 AM ;**

 

 

**chanshine:** yall im dead

 

**cloverdale:** we been knew next

 

**chanshine:** :( 

**chanshine:** but srsly i wanna go home aND SLEEP

 

**sunkissed:** aw channie whats wrong

 

**chanshine:** i was busy watching nichijou yesternight and im now regretting it

 

**kwakodoo:** homeboy just said yesternight

 

**cucumber:** u were watching nichijou wow 

**cucumber:** what time did u even sleep

 

**chanshine:** lol i slept at 3 am

 

**cucumber:** chan ure grounded

 

**shuasus:** nichijou brings back memories god

**shuasus:** reminds me of my childhood

 

**cloverdale:** jisoos childhood = jisoos weeb days

 

**shuasus:** sleep w ur eyes opem tonight hansol

**shuasus:** im pouring lemon juice in ur eyes

 

**cloverdale:** ouchie

 

**wonwhat:** didnt u say spongebob was ur fav anime

 

**shuasus:** THAT WAS ONE TIME 

 

**cucumber:** #letjisoolive2k17

 

**shimmyshimmy:** chan do u want me to pick u up?

 

**chanshine:** nah its okay im gonna survive this yall

 

**cucumber:** thats my bby !

 

**sunkissed:** IM HAVING FLASHBACKS

**sunkissed:** OH NOOOOO

 

**poopcorn:** what

 

**chanshine:** A WILD SEOKMIN APPEARES 

 

**sunkissed:** YOOSUNG MY BABY

**sunkissed:** SAEYOUNG OH MY PRECIOUS SAEYOUNG

 

**cloverdale:** i... dont know whats happening

 

**poopcorn:** must be his past pets

 

**jeremy:** AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

**jeremy:** NOOOOOOO

**jeremy:** STOFPRPDO

**jeremy:** IM HAVING FLASHBACKS

**jeremy:** SHUT UP

 

**cloverdale:** i am honestly so confused right now

**cloverdale:** i think ill go and drink some tea

**cloverdale:** ill … be right back

 

**chanshine:** lol

**chanshine:** hansols like “fuck this shit im out”

 

**kwakodoo:** exACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING LMAO

**kwakodoo:** but what r yall on about

**kwakodoo:** jeez

 

**cucumber:** no jeezing allowed in this house

 

**kwakodoo:** who are you? our mom?

 

**cucumber:** no

**cucumber:** im the one whos about to beat ur ass if u say jeez in this house

 

**kwakodoo:** rude >:(

 

**sunkissed:** okay so

**sunkissed:** once upon a time i stumbled with this app that basically ruined my sleeping schedule

**sunkissed:** made me really patient

**sunkissed:** and basically ruined all of me

**sunkissed:** MY YOOOOSSUUUUUNNNGGG

 

**shimmyshimmy:** I STILL CANT GET OVER IT

 

**jeremy:** I WAS SO CLOSE AND YALL GOTTA RUIN IT

**jeremy:** JUMIN FUCSKDJFSDJ

 

**wonwhat:** junnie r u cheating on me ?

 

**jeremy:** ABSOLUTELY NOT

**jeremy:** I WOULD NEVER

 

**wonwhat:** good :D

 

**fita:** aw wonwoo used a smile emoticon

**fita:** must feel great to be reassured

 

**haoly:** cmon gyu yknow i hate you

**haoly:** *like

**haoly:** sorry autocorrect

 

**fita:** im about to break up w u

 

**haoly:** goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend

 

**hairypop:** wait r yall talkin about mystic messenger

 

**poopcorn:** mystic what

 

**chanshine:** it was a rlly popular dating sims app last year

**chanshine:** i wanted to play it but :(((

 

**sunkissed:** if u played it u mightve been scarred forever channie

 

**chanshine:** lol whatever

**chanshine:** soonyoung cried when he got this one bad ending

 

**shimmyshimmy:** hEY DONT EXPOSE ME LIKE THAT

 

**jeremy:** tbh jumins bad ending is sexci

**jeremy:** but i still wanted the happy ending hmph

 

**poopcorn:** someone bring me food i forgot my lunch

 

**fita:** im at the cafeteria jihoon! i can bring u some!

 

**shimmyshimmy:** i still cant believe its all over now lol

 

**poopcorn:** im at the english room

**poopcorn:** also bring some rice i need it

 

**fita:** roger that !

 

**cloverdale:** uh does anyone want to help me with my homework

 

**chanshine:** im at the library rn hansol i can help u

 

**cloverdale:** okay ill bring gummy bears !

 

**sunkissed:** but i heard theyre releasing new routes

**sunkissed:** aND THAT GOT MY ASS SHAKING IN EXCITEMENT

 

**shuasus:** i love how we all are talking about different things at the same time

**shuasus:** eventhough it confuses me

 

**cucumber:** i got used to it since yall have big mouths

 

**hairypop:** even me?!

 

**cucumber:** especially you

 

**hairypop:** suddenly i only have one boyfriend

 

**shuasus:** jeonghans right u talk too much oldie

 

**hairypop:** suddenly i am single and dont have boyfriends

**hairypop:** JISOO URE THE SAME AGE AS ME

 

**shuasus:** still older grandpa

 

**fita:** JIHOON THERES NO RICE

 

**poopcorn:** make some then

 

**sunkissed:** i have extra rice if u want jihoon :D

 

**fita:** im sure jihoon would gladly accept ur rice seokmin

 

**poopcorn:** fuck u gyu burn in hell u beanstring

**poopcorn:** and thank you seokmin :)

 

**fita:** :( i didnt even get a smiley face

 

**haoly:** its jihoon what do u expect

 

* * *

 

 

 

**12:06 PM ;**

 

**sunkissed:** jihoon devoured that rice so fast wow

**sunkissed:** it was like watching an otter eat lol

 

**wonwhat:** fun fact: jihoon ate a whole plate of rice (PLENTY OF EM) in like 5 minutes

 

**chanshine:** get you a man !

 

**shimmyshimmy:** chan always says that lmao 

**shimmyshimmy:** ur mans already here pretty ;)

 

**sunkissed:** ew stop flirting w my bro

 

**kwakodoo:** theyre dating seokmin

 

**sunkissed:** but still !!

**sunkissed:** right infront of my salad

 

**wonwhat:** speaking of salad, yall up for a karaoke night??

 

**kwakodoo:** how does salad relate to karaoke night ?

 

**wonwhat:** it relates, you just dont see it

 

**kwakodoo:** u rite i dont see it 

 

**cloverdale:** im always up for seokmin screaming to the microphone

 

**sunkissed:** excuse me sir

**sunkissed:** my singing is beautiful

 

**cloverdale:** sure well go with that

 

**jeremy:** WHO WANTS SOME FUCKING COCAINE

 

**hairypop:** weed? no. hey mom!

 

**jeremy:** seungcheol the only man i trust

**jeremy:** and sure babe lets go aND SING OUR HEARTS TONIGHT

 

**cucumber:** thank god its friday

 

**kwakodoo:** TGIF

 

**cucumber:** seungkwan i am disowning you

**cucumber:** no TGIF-ing allowed in this house

 

**kwakodoo:** i feel attacked when i only breathed

 

**shuasus:** its jeonghan what do u expect

 

**shuasus:** and sure wonwoo im going

 

**hairypop:** me too ill go 

 

**cucumber:** u get two plus one free if im going

**cucumber:** so yea im going

 

**haoly:** i cant go bc i need to go work 

**haoly:** we getting cash here

 

**fita:** get u a man

 

**chanshine:** i need to study :-/ 

**chanshine:** and i dont feel well enough to party :((

 

**sunkissed:** u want me to come to ur dorm chan?

 

**chanshine:** no no its okay

**chanshine:** u dont have to 

**chanshine:** u can use this time to practice ur singing minnie!

 

**sunkissed:** ill sing my heart out for you <33

 

**chanshine:** <33

 

**shimmyshimmy:** im staying with chan so im not going !

**shimmyshimmy:** someone needs to take care of the baby

 

**cucumber:** *my baby 

 

**shimmyshimmy:** oh thanks jeonghan he really is my baby

 

**cucumber:** i was referring chan to be my baby but okay soonyoung okay

 

**fita:** ill go but ill be late 

**fita:** mom wants me to buy a few things from the grocery store so

 

**wonwhat:** doesnt minghao work in a grocery store

 

**jeremy:** mr mingyu really trying to sneak wow

 

**fita:** nO ITS TRUE I NEED TO BUY THINGS

 

**haoly:** mingyu dont come here i dont wanna see ur ugly face

**haoly:** nah im just kidding come here and entertain me

 

**fita:** :( i dont deserve this

 

**wonwhat:** we all dont buddy

 

**jeremy:** okay yall go back to ur classes now

 

**kwakodoo:** junhui, the true mom of this gc

 

**cloverdale:** does that mean wonwoos the dad

 

**fita:** wonwoo the dad?? doesnt sounds fitting to me

 

**wonwhat:** shut up mingyu u earphones

 

**jeremy:** well that was weak

 

**wonwhat:** i ran out of insults that arent too complicated because mingyu's not gonna get it

 

**fita:** IM NOT DUMB MY VOCABULARYS JUST NOT AS WIDE AS YOURS

**fita:** mr widevocab

 

**poopcorn:** i have a whole list if u want wonwoo

 

**wonwhat:** thats exemplary

**wonwhat:** thank u jihoon

 

**fita:** show off >:(

 

**haoly:** the bells about to ring yall

 

**cloverdale:** what are u a cowboy or smth

 

**haoly:** yea

**haoly:** a cowboy whos about to whip ur ass if u dont go to class

 

**fita:** junhui who i only know minghao the cowboy mom

 

_ [ _ **_fita_ ** _ changed  _ **_haoly_ ** _ 's username to  _ **_cowboymom_ ** _ ] _

 

**cowboymom:** why am i dating u

**fita:** i ask that myself every day

 

**wonwhat:** okay yall got two mins before class starts

 

**wonwhat:** lets depart now my friends

 

**jeremy:** ure such a nerd

 

**wonwhat:** i love u too

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuhhhh yea heres the 2nd one  
> i probs wont update for like a year bc im THAT lazy  
> but anywaaayyysss hope yall liked it lol  
> (editing this was such a bitch how do gc fic writers do this uGh)


	3. clumsy cow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lot of curse words do not read if ure under 20 thank you
> 
> seungcheol - hairypop  
> jeonghan - cucumber  
> jisoo - shuasus  
> junhui - jeremy  
> soonyoung - shimmyshimmy / soonshine  
> wonwoo - wonwhat / brocolly  
> jihoon - poopcorn  
> seokmin - sunkissed  
> mingyu - fita / clowny  
> minghao - haoly / cowboymom  
> seungkwan - kwakodoo  
> hansol - cloverdale  
> chan - chanshine

**some vafrous turds**

_(fita + 12 other people)_

 

**01:27 PM ;**

 

 **kwakodoo:** yesterday was such a fucking shit show

 

 **shuasus:** i said no cURSING FROM BABIES LIKE YOU

 

 **kwakodoo:** u dont control my life ya fucking noodle

 

 **shuasus:** the power of [ christ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjeeD-wt8mY) compels you

 

 **kwakodoo:** nO

 

 **shuasus:** THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU

 

 **kwakodoo:** NOOOO

 

 **wonwhat:** wow jisoo just made a vine reference oh my

 

 **shuasus:** what can i say

 **shuasus:** i love me a good vine compilation

 

 **kwakodoo:** one of the golden vines tbh

 

 **sunkissed:** good mroning

 

 **wonwhat:** its the afternoon seokmin hello

 

 **sunkissed:** oh i ddint even notiec

 **sunkissed:** my ehad hurts m y gdo

 

 **wonwhat:** you should drink water and get off ur phone seokmin

 

 **shuasus:** do u want me to come over and bring u soup?

 **shuasus:** i made one for cheolie and hannie

 **shuasus:** they rlly drank a lot yesterday

 

 **wonwhat:** take some pills minnie

 

 **kwakodoo:** the two moms omg

 **kwakodoo:** we love them and appreciate them in this house

 

 **chanshine:** how are u feeling minnie?

 

 **sunkissed:** mi fnie chan :)

 

 **cloverdale:** i love how he misspelled a lot of words but not chan

 

 **chanshine:** :') im touched

 **chanshine:** make sure to feel better minnie mom doesnt want u to be sick

 

 **cowboymom:** that is right i dont want u to be sick

 

 **kwakodoo:** minghao really living his username

 

 _[_ **_cowboymom_ **   _changed their username to_   **_haoly_ ** _]_

 

 **haoly:** what username are you talking about

 

 **kwakodoo:** rip cowboymom it was fun having you

 

 **sunkissed:** how are u feeling channie

 

 **chanshine:** i feel much better! i did my test this morning and i think i did great but not too great :(

 

 **shuasus:** thats alright chan u can always do better next time !

 

 **chanshine:** thank you :D

 

 **cucumber:** look at my son and boyfriend getting along

 

 **shuasus:** i met chan before u jeonghan hes MY son

 

 **cucumber:** jiji if hes my son hes ur son too

 

 **shuasus:** no jeonghan hes MY son now get off

 

 **cloverdale:** get off my

 **cloverdale:** [bass boosted] DICK

 

 **shuasus:** language young man

 

 **cucumber:** we shall fight mr hong

 

 **shimmyshimmy:** everyone calm down

 **shimmyshimmy:** yall know chan is MY son AND boyfriend AND best friend AND baby

 **shimmyshimmy:** whos the real winner here

 

 **chanshine:** soonyoung ure embarrassing

 

 **shimmyshimmy:** im also his daddy kekeke ;););)

 

 **chanshine:** SOONYOUNG SHUT THE FUCK UOJKVKSBD

 

 **sunkissed:** TOO MUCH INFORMATION

 **sunkissed:** BRO DONT U EVER TOUCH MY BRO AGAIN

 **sunkissed:** CHAN WERE MOVING LETS GO

 

 **cucumber:** im going to jump off a cliff

 

 **shuasus:** jesus christ soonyoung

 

 **kwakodoo:** and i come back to this mess

 

 **wonwhat:** i always stay mute

 

 **cloverdale:** soonyoung

 

 **cloverdale:** calm ya tits buddy

 

 **poopcorn:** sometimes i pretend that im not associated with him

 

 **shimmyshimmy:** D;

 **shimmyshimmy:** heartbroken but not surprised

 

 **jeremy:** last night was a pAAARRTTYYY

 **jeremy:** blast up the music whoo

 

 **cloverdale:** is he okay

 

 **wonwhat:** hes not

 **wonwhat:** hes junhui

 

 **fita:** what kind of shitty joke is that

 

 **shuasus:** aHEM

 **shuasus:** mingyu whats w the username

 

 **fita** : ????

 **fita** : whats wrong w it?

 

 **shuasus:** i dont understand it

 **shuasus:** and its unfunny like u

 

 **fita:** wELL FUCK U TOO THEN

 

 **_[shuasus_ ** _changed_ **_fita_ ** _'s name to_ **_clowny]_ **

 

 **clowny:** i didnt sign up for this

 

 **cucumber:** thats my boyfie and i am proud of him

 

 **haoly:** why do our usernames match

 **haoly:** change his username i dont wanna be related in any way with him

 

 **clowny:** :( this is bullying

 

 **haoly:** love u too clowny

 

 **sunkissed:** ure matchie matchie with ur boyfie :D

 

 **jeremy:** tHEY MATCH W ME TOO KDKDJF

 

 **wonwhat:** well i guess jun minghao and mingyu are boyfriends now

 

 _[_ **_shuasus_ ** _changed_ **_wonwhat_ ** _'s username to_ **_brocolly_ ** _]_

 

 **shausus:** there u go mr jealous

 

 **brocolly:** that was uncalled for

 

 **sunkissed:** soonyoungs name also matches w urs lmao

 

 _[_ **_shuasus_ ** _changed_ **_shimmyshimmy_ ** _'s username to_ **_soonshine_ ** _]_

 

 **shuasus:** anymore requests u lazy brats

 

 **soonshine:** my username was iconic D:

 **soonshine:** but i match with chan so its okay :D

 

 **jeremy:** hey wonwoo does our landlord mind if we get a dog

 

 **brocolly:** why the sudden question

 

 **jeremy:** i dreamt about how jesus gave me a dog

 **jeremy:** and the dog popped gold wonwoo

 **jeremy:** REAL GOLD

 

 **haoly:** if its a dream doesnt it mean its not real

 

 **jeremy:** i dont have time for this minghao

 **jeremy:** this is urgent

 

 **brocolly:** i dont think so

 **brocolly:** i saw taehyung with his dog like last week

 

 **chanshine:** im a cat person so :-/

 

 **sunkissed:** speaking of animals, bambam texted me and said

 **sunkissed:** "bro my moms about to throw my plushies hELP ME"

 

 **cloverdale:** did you just compare bambam to animals

 

 **sunkissed:** yea that boy is W I L D

 

 **clowny:** i agree he threw himself at walmart one time

 **clowny:** and shouted "BELLY FLOP!!!"

 

 **cloverdale:** tbh i think soonyoung would do that

 

 **soonshine:** tbh i think too

 

 **sunkissed:** anyways im going to his house and grab some free plushies

 

 **chanshine:** GET ME ONE SEOKMIN

 

 **sunkissed:** will do channie <3

 

 **chanshine:** <3

 

 **shuasus:** grab many so we can pick what we want hah

 

 **sunkissed:** good idea ill get going then

 

 **brocolly:** farewell

 

 **jeremy:** DONT FORGET TO DRINK MEDICINE BEFORE U GO

 

 **shuasus:** eat something too okay? drink lots of water

 **shuasus:** stay hydrated honey <3

 

 **sunkissed:** i love my caring moms

 **sunkissed:** <3

 

* * *

 

 

**03:47 PM ;**

 

 **soonshine:** yea thta fucker really beat me down

 

 **cucumber:** does it hurt soonyoung

 

 **sunkissed:** omg whats happening

 **sunkissed:** SOON BRO RAE YIU OKYA ???

 

 **soonshine:** BRO YES IM OKAY DONT WORRY

 

 **hairypop:** chan beat soonyoung in mario kart lol

 

 **sunkissed:** wow and i thought it wsa serious

 

 **soonshine:** IT IS SERIOUS

 **soonshine:** and yes it hurts jeonghan u shady bitch

 

 **cucumber:** u need a good ally to win the battle mr kwon

 

 **shuasus:** cheaters never win

 **shuasus:** except in mario kart apparently

 

 **soonshine:** god now i have to buy ice cream for chan every saturday until the end of the school year ugh

 

 **kwakodoo:** thats what you get when u let ur heart win

 

 **soonshine:** shut uUUUUPPPP

 **soonshine:** SHOW ME SOME SUPPORT

 

 **cloverdale:** lmao soonyoung rip ur wallet

 

 **hairypop:** moving on

 **hairypop:** SEOKMIN DID U GET PLUSHIES (๑꒪▿꒪)*

 

 **sunkissed:** YES THEYRE HERE JFNDKJ

 **sunkissed:** my god the plushies are so cute

 

 **hairypop:** thank the heavens bambams mom decided to throw them away lol

 

 **soonshine:** what did u get minnie

 

 **sunkissed:** i got a bunch

 **sunkissed:** i had to punch jungkook bc he was about to get the kermit one

 

 **cucumber:** did u really want the kermit plushy

 

 **sunkissed:** no its for minghao !! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

 

 **haoly:** wow suddenly seokmin is my best friend

 

 **sunkissed:** i got it bc i knew you like kermit !

 

 **haoly:** thank you seokmin :D

 

 **clowny:** how many times am i going to be betrayed

 

 **haoly:** many times mingyu

 **haoly:** many times

 

 **sunkissed:** i got chan the dinosaur one hell love it for sure

 

 **soonshine:** he sure will

 

 **sunkissed:** i was trying to find a snake plushie for jeonghan

 **sunkissed:** but they didnt have it :-/

 

 **cucumber:** thank u for being thoughtful :)

 

 **sunkissed:** OH YEAA

 **sunkissed:** i got jihoon an otter one !! its so cute

 **sunkissed:** i wanna keep it but i wanna give it to him lol

 

 **shuasus:** aw thats cute

 **shuasus:** im sure jihoon would rlly appreciate that

 

 **soonshine:** he sure will ;))

 

* * *

 

 

**PRIVATE CHAT**

_(chanshine + soonshine)_

 

**10:10 PM ;**

 

 **soonshine:** baby do u need smth from the convenience store

 

 **chanshine:** soonyounggg

 **chanshine:** buy some ice cream :((

 **chanshine:** and chocolates nggghhh

 

 **soonshine:** ure so needy omg

 **soonshine:** but anything for u babe

 **soonshine:** are u on ur period

 

 **chanshine:** stop im just craving for them

 

 **soonshine:** are u pregnant :D

 

 **chanshine:** are u telling me im fat

 

 **soonshine:** I WOULD NEVER KDJVJKB

 **soonshine:** wait do u want almonds or no almonds

 

 **chanshine:** pick whatever im happy either way

 

 **soonshine:** where did that even come from

 

 **chanshine:** im sappy i know now leave me alone

 

 **soonshine:** kjbvd i love u babe

 

 **chanshine:** love u too honey <3

 

 **soonshine:** <33

 

 **chanshine:** were so domestic ew

 

 **soonshine:** were the best couple hah

 **soonshine:** the sunshine couple

 

 **chanshine:** aw thats cute

 **chanshine:** but if u say that in the gc jeonghans not going to let u live

 

 **soonshine:** im just stating facts

 

 **chanshine:** i can just imagine u smirking on ur phone as u type that

 

 **soonshine:** thats what i did wow

 **soonshine:** we have a strong bond

 

 **chanshine:** sshhh

 

 **soonshine:** okay i got all what u want babe

 

 **chanshine:** thank u baby (´∀`)

 

 **soonshine:** anything for u mwah

 

 **chanshine:** come back home safely !!

 

 **soonshine:** will do ! see u later :*

 

 **chanshine:** okayy :*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY I WAS CRYING WHEN I TYPED THAT SOONCHAN CONVO I WANT A CHAN/SOONYOUNG IN MY LIFE  
> thanks for reading this mess mwah <33


	4. dull dew

**some vafrous turds**

_ (fita + 12 other people) _

 

**12:29 A.M ;**

 

**soonshine:** ice cream is the best after midnight

 

**kwakodoo:** havent i told u before

**kwakodoo:** eating after midnight can make u fat

 

**soonshine:** welp

**soonshine:** i dont rlly care ice cream is the best

 

**poopcorn:** i want ice cream

**poopcorn:** but i cant have one

**poopcorn:** too lazy

 

**sunkissed:** oH im at the convenience store hoon

**sunkissed:** ill bring u one!

 

**poopcorn:** oh

**poopcorn:** sure. thanks

 

**kwakodoo:** what r u doing at the convenience at 12 am lol

 

**sunkissed:** iM BUYING SOME MIDNIGHT SNAAACKS

 

**kwakodoo:** all this snakc talk makes me hungry

**kwakodoo:** brb gonna make an ice cream sandwich

 

**cucumber:** why r we all awake at this hour

 

**soonshine:** me and chan were watching this movie

**soonshine:** but he fell asleep during the movie lol

 

**cucumber:** send a pic of my sleepy baby soon

 

**soonshine:** uHM no jeonghan only i can have those pics

 

**cucumber:** god ill rip ur eyes out if i could

 

**soonshine:** do it

 

**cucumber:** ok then meet me at the alleyway in 10

**cucumber:** square up bitch pew pew

 

**hairypop:** han u are NOT picking another fight again

 

**cucumber:** :(

**cucumber:** ill still rip soons eyes

 

**cloverdale:** kwan almost started a fire

**cloverdale:** at midnight

 

**cucumber:** what did boo boo the fool do now ?????

 

**kwakodoo:** I TOLD U TO STOP CALLING ME THAT U FUCKING DONKEY

 

**cloverdale:** oh god 

 

**soonshine:** honestly i expected kwan to do that

 

**hairypop:** are yall okay ?

 

**kwakodoo:** ugh yeah

**kwakodoo:** hansols just checking the stove lol

**kwakodoo:** honestly why would the school trust us to not burn down this dorm

 

**soonshine:** well seungkwan its because your uncles the dean

 

**kwakodoo:** fuckin uncle sam

 

**cucumber:** isnt he half american

 

**hairypop:** lol i once heard seungkwan talk to his uncle in english

 

**kwakodoo:** AAAAAAHHHH STOP

**kwakodoo:** he always shoves in my afce that he can speak english

 

**cucumber:** i agree ur uncles a bitch

 

**hairypop:** ya know u can be expelles for talking bad about him

 

**cucumber:** FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS RELEVANT

**cucumber:** ITS 2018 PEOPLE

 

**kwakodoo:** well i agree hes a bitch

**kwakodoo:** i want to kick him sometimes but he bought me the ps4 so hmmmm

 

**hairypop:** hmmmmmm

 

**soonshine:** anywho im going to sleep now

**soonshine:** goodnight yaaalllll

 

**cucumber:** never say yall again

 

**hairypop:** night soon!

 

**cucumber:** cuddle chan for meeeee

 

**soonshine:** i wouldve done it even if u didnt say it

 

**cucumber:** . . . . . . . f u c k  y o u

 

**soonshine:** :* mwah love y

**soonshine:** oongi

 

**kwakodoo:** i will tell jungkook ure trying to steal his boyfriend

 

**cucumber:** u know jungkook ???

 

**kwakodoo:** yeah we did a singing project once

 

**soonshine:** i didnt know hes dating hoons bro

**soonshine:** oKAY TIME TO HIT THE BED

**soonshine:** alright peacee

 

**sunkissed:** aw i didnt get to say goodnight :(

 

**cucumber:** where r u seokie

 

**sunkissed:** AT JIHOON’S STUDIO !!

 

**kwakodoo:** ive never been to jihoons studio

**kwakodoo:** aND WEVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR HOW LONG

 

**hairypop:** ive been there many times hAH

 

**kwakodoo:** fuck off cheol u nasty hawaiian pizza loving mothafucka

 

**cucumber:** fuck u too bitch we love hawaiian pizza in this house

 

**sunkissed:** i like all pizzas !!!! 

 

**cloverdale:** i like hawaiian pizza but kwan hates it :(

 

**kwakodoo:** its abomination babe

 

**sunkissed:** i gotta go guuuys

**sunkissed:** ill see you tomorrooooow

 

**hairypop:** what are we even doing tomorrow

 

**sunkissed:** were going to bowling remember ?? with jungkooks friends lol

 

**cucumber:** is jungkook that guy u punched

 

**sunkissed:** yeeeeee

 

**cucumber:** sometimes i forget how strong seokmin can be lol

 

**hairypop** : hes our strong sunshine :D

 

**kwakodoo:** i hate bowling

 

**cucumber:** u hate a lot of things

 

**kwakodoo:** yea that includes u too

 

**cucumber:** i will fight you tomorrow you leTTUCE LOOKING ASS

 

**kwakodoo:** atleast ive got aSS YOURE FLAT AS FUCK JEONGHAN FUCK YOU 

 

**hairypop:** whoa guysus calm yalls tits

 

**sunkissed:** eekkk ill go now maybe ill sleep at hoonies studio

 

**cloverdale:** bye seokmin !

 

**cucumber:** i am sleepy so well continue this tomorrow mr boo boo the fool

 

**kwakodoo:** i hope u die in ur sleep u cockroach

 

**hairypop:** when will yall stop

 

**10:28 AM ;**

 

**chanshine:** wow they really went full on yesternight

 

**kwakodoo:** can yOU PUHLEASE stop saying yesternight

 

**soonshine:** can u stop being an ass seungkwan

**soonshine:** and stop i know what ure going to say

**soonshine:** wE ALL KNOW UVE GOT ASS SEUNGKWAN

 

**kwakodoo:** u know me too well now i ahve to change my whole character uGH

**kwakodoo:** thanks soonyoung 

 

**haoly:** i almost forgot to eat breakfast

 

**clowny:** u want to eat with me hao?

 

**chanshine:** i read that as ‘u want to eat me hao?’

 

**clowny:** sHUT UP CHAN

 

**haoly:** sure gyu where are you?

 

**chanshine:** hes at ur heart gyu

 

**clowny:** >////< chan stop

**clowny:** also im at the boyz flower snack shop

 

**soonshine:** ooooh i love that place !!

 

**chanshine:** thats where soonie asked me out lol

 

**clowny:** wow thats cute

 

**shuasus:** morning beautiful people

 

**jeremy:** u seem to have a good morning shua

 

**haoly:** yea

**haoly:** u call us the ugliest people whenever ure awake

 

**shuasus:** hey now

 

**chanshine:** ure a rockstar

 

**shuasus:** shut up chan

**shuasus:** (just kidding i love you bby)

 

**jeremy:** aNYWAYS what happened shua spill the tea 

 

**shuasus:** no! its a secret u guys dont need to know

 

**jeremy:** IM UR BESTFRIEND JISOO TELL THE TEA

 

**shuasus:** ugh okay DM

 

**soonshine:** wow guys thats rlly considerate of you

**soonshine:** now i am cURIOUS

 

**haoly:** bitch me too i deserve to know that

 

**chanshine:** why does junhui the only one wholl get the info D:

 

**clowny:** best friend perks ;)))

 

**poopcorn:** uh guys.

 

**chanshine:** yes jihoonieeeee

 

**poopcorn:** oh hey chan.

**poopcorn:** your brother’s at my studio.

**poopcorn:** do you want to pick him up?

 

**chanshine:** oh sure! is he awake ??

 

**poopcorn:** not yet.

 

**chanshine:** make sure he drinks water when he wakes up !! he said he was resting yesterday bc he had a sore throat :((

 

**poopcorn:** why was he in the convenience store yesterday though?

 

**cucumber:** oh yea he went to the convenience store

 

**soonshine:** seokmin likes to wander around when he cant sleep

 

**poopcorn:** oh.

 

**chanshine:** me and soonie will pick him up later !! tell us when hes awake

 

**poopcorn:** okay.

 

**jeremy:** do u guys have any plans for tomorrow

 

**shuasus:** ugh were going out again ?? 

 

**jeremy:** no ones forcing u disgusting hawaiian pizza loving bitch

 

**cucumber:** seungkwan called me n cheol that last night

 

**shuasus:** fuck u broccoli loving bitch

 

**wonwhat:** stop bullying each other or ill whip ur asses

 

**jeremy:** kinky  (͡• ͜ʖ ͡•)

 

**clowny:** keep it pg-13 for chan guys

 

**chanshine:** fuck u gyu im already 19

 

**soonshine:** me and chan are free tomorrow so uuhhh

 

**jeremy:** thank u for answering my one and only supporter

 

**soonshine:** im not ur supporter u lanky seaweed

 

**jeremy:** hey i take offense on that >:(

 

**soonshine:** i dont care :pp

 

**jeremy:** WONWOO! SOONYOUNGS BEING A BULLY

 

**wonwhat:** are u two really older than me

 

**soonshine:** yes now go and respect your elders

**soonshine:** HAH i like it that i can use the older card on wonwoo

 

**haoly:** ure only like months older

 

**soonshine:** do i look like i care

 

**haoly:** fuck you

 

**soonshine:** :D

 

**jeremy:** i cant use my older card bECAUSE ME AND SOON ARE JUST DAYS (DAYS PEOPLE) APART

 

**shuasus:** lmao we dont even use the older card in this house

 

**cucumber:** shua just does whatever he wants hmph

 

**haoly:** you always spoil him thats why

 

**clowny:** yeah !!!!! and like u act like his sugar daddies

 

**shuasus:** i didnt work hard to buy this phone im using just for me to be called a sugar baby

**shuasus:** I DONT DESERVE THIS

 

**cucumber:** me and cheol bought that iphone for u honey

 

**shuasus:** which i worked hard to convince yall to

 

**chanshine:** GET YOU A MAN (LIKE SRSLY)

 

**soonshine:** sorry chan im a broke university student :---((

 

**chanshine:** ur love is enough soonsoon uwu <3333

 

**clowny:** omg thats so cute

**clowny:** chan called him soonsoon

 

**soonshine:** I LOVE YOU ?????

 

**chanshine:** i wish u were here so i can kiss you hehe

 

**soonshine:** YOURE THE CUTEST FUUUUCKCKCKCKCK

 

**cucumber:** look at them stealing the best couples from us

 

**haoly:** it wasnt even urs in the first place

 

**cucumber:** i hate you

 

**poopcorn:** seokmin’s awake.

 

**chanshine:** okay! lets go soonie!

 

**soonshine:** ill meet u at the entrance <33

 

**chanshine:** okayyy <3333

 

**clowny:** i want to be like soonchan hao

 

**haoly:** theyre disgustingly sweet gyu

 

**clowny:** :(

**clowny:** okay

 

**cucumber:** what time is the bowling thing again

 

**shuasus:** at 1 pm 

**shuasus:** but we all know were arriving at 1:30 lmao

 

**cucumber:** this is why other groups dont wanna hang out w us

 

**shuasus:** speak for urself hunty everyone wants to hang out w me

 

**cucumber:** ure a bitch

  
**shuasus:**  a bitch that u love ;)


End file.
